RowdyLove

Fail.

2012-01-18T19:54:00.001+08:00

It's no secret that I think I'm pretty awesome myself. However, lately, my awesomeness has been put to the test and it's suffering.

Firstly, I believe I've been a damn good girlfriend to Victor. Surprisingly, he failed to agree. Something along the lines of being childish, being emotional, over reacting etc etc. Hello, I'm an INDIAN GIRL. Over reacting and being a drama mama is in my blood.

Secondly, this 2b license is perhaps the worst and best decision of my life. I'm only at 1.03 and i've already got for 6 lessons. 1 for 1.01, 3 for 1.02 and 2 for 1.03. I see all the boys just passing each stage like as if they've all been riding since birth. How demoralizing is that!! It makes me doubt my ability every time I fail the stage. In a way, it's good for me because it tests my resilience.

At times like this, I recall my sec 4 Form Teacher saying PERSEVERE!!!! And sincerely, for that, I thank you, Miss Penny Ang. :)

So, to conclude, I just wanna say that life is full of surprises. Sometimes good, most times bad. All we have to do is get our game face on. Because when we fail, people will comfort us face to face. But behind our backs, they will mock. So, keep your chin up and never give up no matter what. Well, unless it's important.

I'M GOING TO PASS 1.03 TOMORROWWWWW!!!!!!

Excuse me?

2012-01-05T14:23:00.000+08:00

What a crazy week. First of all, I must give myself a pat on my back for my patience. There are lines that we all draw and once in a while, people tend to cross the line. It's what you do when that happens that makes you who you are. All I can say is that revenge is a dish best served cold.

I used the word 'all' 3 times in that paragraph. tsk.

Anyway, the more I converse with my sister, the more she says things about me that I'm shocked to hear. Recently, she said i'm a feminist. The last time I checked, googled actually, Feminism was about "defending equal political, economic, and social rights and equal opportunities for women".

Wait a second. I don't defend equal social rights for women! Definitely not equal economic rights. I mean I say my ambition is to be a business woman and etc but all I really want is to sit at home with my German Sheppard, watching Bones all day while my husband slogs at work to bring in the dough, occasionally getting up to feed myself and the dog.

Besides, I totally think chivalry should come back in style. That's basically the opposite of feminism, right? Have a man open doors for me, pull my chair out, slay nasty dragons, etc etc. If I wanted equal social rights, I'll open my own damn doors. Which I usually don't have to when Victor's around.

Moving on, having said all that I've said now, it doesn't mean that I'll be the first to defend men. Being born with a vagina makes me automatically a supporter of women. As much as I believe that women have the ability to perform as well as a man, personally, I prefer to take the backseat and let the man do all the work. Not only does the man feel like a 'knight in shining armor', it also gives us a chance to ogle at his biceps while he's lifting heavy stuff or talking about stuff you already know about. Playing dumb can really help sometimes. Plus we don't want to risk chipping a nail with unnecessary lifting. Okay fine, I don't want to risk chipping a nail.

Now, coming back to reality, I think Victor and I are at a stage where he's testing me? He tests my patience, seeing how far backwards I'll bend to accommodate his... let's just say idiosyncrasies. He throws new situations at my face and watches how I deal with them. I didn't know this step was included in the process of selecting a mate. Whether it's normal or not, I don't know but it's starting to get old. Any mention of this to him and I get 'okayyyy okayyy okayyy, enough okayyyy?' as a reply. Sooner or later, I'm going to lay the smackdown on his candy ass.

So now, I'm going to get my biker babe persona on and head for BBDC.

Hope I don't fall on my ass.

Love; start or stop?

2011-12-27T00:40:00.001+08:00

I won't lie. When it comes to choosing a mate, I fail. Mainstream media is what I blame. They've generated so many ideas of what a relationship should be like, that I constantly find myself comparing what I have with what I think I should have.

Takes away your peace I tell you. And to be honest, having romantic notions is perfectly acceptable to even the most unlikely. The root of any troubled relationship is incompatibility.

I can almost hear tyra in my head, making some lame computer joke now.

My point is, if you're grossly romantic, someone entirely opposed to romance will undoubtedly find it silly or idiotic even. Someone who hates durian would eventually find fault with one who finds durians delicious. People say that opposites attract. What they forgot to mention was that opposites attract at first. Eventually, the attraction will fade off and what was once such a turn on is now a turn off.

Of course, this is just my theory. I have much to say on this topic but typing long passages on my phone is quite annoying. So, till my next rant, keep the attraction going.

ShoutBox, no more.

2011-12-23T02:07:00.001+08:00

Oh by the way, I'll be removing the tagboard/shoutbox on the right. Apparently, ShoutBox, the company from which it originates from is terminating their free service. I don't have many comments on it to actually make paying for worth it. Also, I'm quite lazy to look around for a new tagboard. So, I'm just going to remove it.

If anyone wishes to comment, although unlikely, kindly use the comment section that comes below each post. Thanks (:

Personality, or lack thereof.

2011-12-23T01:59:00.002+08:00

Siblings, mom and I were at the Spectacles shop today. Brother and I were contemplating which pair of spectacles to buy for the new year. Not that we change our specs every year. The current pair we own is scratched beyond imagination and totally worn out.

Anyway, while I was trying on different sets of spectacles, my sister passed a comment that I found very disturbing. She said one of the spectacles "gives you personality". Does that hint at my supposed lack of personality? Or does it mean that it gives me the kind of personality that is preferred to the one that I currently own?

Victor, my boyfriend, has stated many times that I have the mind of a child. That I act and react like a child, the inability to control my mouth, emotions and actions. I often wonder if it's because of mingling with too many kids. Being surrounded by kids, brother included, makes me act like one sometimes. Or maybe it's my over dependence on my mother. After all, I had a maid since I was born up till a few years ago which made me less independent and pretty damn lazy, I admit. Never really had to work for something that I couldn't get just by asking my mother, either nicely or by throwing a tantrum.

But then again, there are several occasions where I've proven to be quite matured. All of which my boyfriend has failed to experience. However, I can't seem to remember any of these occasions off hand. Just a slight inconvenience.

My point is, I believe my personality is what makes me.... me. A pair of specs, no matter how personality changing it may be, may provide a somewhat whimsical side of me but I truly believe that nothing, tangible or otherwise, should change my personality to fit others' requirements/expectations. And seriously, if I had to depend on a damn pair of specs to give me personality, I think it's quite insulting actually.

While my sister's personality is somewhat on a tangent to mine, she's the popular one while I'm the totally awesome one (opinions may differ here), I believe that deep down, we share a common understanding that till our inevitable death, we were born into the same family just to annoy each other while exchanging looks over the dysfunctional yet oddly comforting family situations that occur from time to time.

And rest assured, my new specs are kick ass because I let the family choose and the pair of specs supposedly gives me personality. ;)

UnFURgiveable.

2011-12-16T23:22:00.000+08:00

Well hello.

I've once again forgotten that I own a blog which I'm obliged to update occasionally. Christmas is around the corner and I'm going to say what I always say when Christmas is around the corner.

OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S THE END OF THE YEAR ALREADY!!

Let's recall the highlights of each month for the year 2011.

January : Enrolled in Uni
February: Full marks for Stats test. hahaha.
March: Broke up with Ben
April: Was the third party in someone's relationship
May: Had a Birthday BBQ
June: Dated my first Black guy
July: Got into a relationship with my second Black guy.
August: National Day at Pan Pacific.
September: Crazy rush to do Marketing project!
October: Raised $3000 somehow.
November: Nearly died on a Genting Highlands Theme Park ride
December: Wore a motorcycle helmet and sat on a bike while twiddling with the brakes/gears.

What a year indeed. I'm glad it's coming to an end though. Not cos i'll be turning 21 in 5 months. or that I'll probably get my motorcycle license before that. or that i'll be starting year 2 in uni.

but because I made it through one of the most emotionally challenging year in my history. 20 years of history. hahaha. Unfortunately, I know this is just the beginning of this emotional wreckage/rollercoaster. Here come the years of squabbling, tears and frustration. Even so, I hope, believe even, that the years to come will bring more joy and happiness than sorrow and regret.

So, let's all raise our glasses, some filled with wine, whiskey or water, others filled with Minute Maid's Apple & Cranberry, to welcome the end of a great year and the beginning of another.

oh, and since the world's gonna end, can we all just give up monogamy?

Big Bang.

2011-11-24T22:34:00.001+08:00

So I progressed from Bones to Big Bang Theory. It's been waiting for me for quite some time now. Finally got down to it. Anyway, before I start quoting stuff from BBT, let me just get to the point I'm burning to bring about.

I'm totally flabbergasted when ~~women~~ girls refer to their boyfriends as their husbands or themselves as their partner's wife. WTF. When did being someone's husband/wife become such a trivial thing? I always thought it was something sacred. Like it's not enough that 'I Love You' has become so commercialized. We say it to everyone and everything(me included). Now it's happening to husband/wife? I mean do you actually know what it means to be one's husband/wife?

ABSURD!!!

(Man)hattan

2011-11-14T09:57:00.001+08:00

Yesterday, I spent the day with two men. Muza and Victor. Met Muza for lunch after thousands of years. He stopped looking like a banglah now since he started wearing office attire. Still, he can improve buy cutting his hair and styling his beard. He lost his muscle definitions though.

Anyway, I told him I wanted to try new things for lunch. We decided on Manhattan Fish Market, although I was trying to limit my spending. I'm glad to say that I didn't regret it at all. I don't know what they did to the prawns but oh my god, it was so good. it had this nice bbq flavour to it. not the bbq flavour in potato chips, that's just rubbish. but on-the-grill charred goodness. yummyyyy. I would have liked to order their dessert as well but I was way too full and the movie was about to start anyway.

Speaking of the movie, we watched Ra.One. First of all, I would like to say that someone who doesn't speak tamil and doesn't know anything about tamil movies/culture would probably not find it as funny as it truly is. Why? because they make lots of reference to indian/tamil stuff. for instance, in the movie, the dad eats spaghetti with curd using his hands. this chinese chick behind me kept saying eeww yucks, why's he doing that? grosss. living in a multicultural society like singapore and you don't get it? hah. Anyway, the movie is highly entertaining.

moving on, I met Victor after that. He's claiming to be a virgin on facebook. I have nothing to say except to laugh. Back in his hometown, he was known to be a serious playboy. So seriously, who will believe he's a virgin. Don't know who he's trying to convince. The last few weeks, we've been having some fights on and off. So when he saw me yesterday, he surprised me with Cadbury. Then suddenly I feel all warm and gooey on the inside. hahaha. It was fun. Sometimes he's such a sweetheart and at other times, he's so annoying.

So that concludes my manly sunday. it was refreshing after being stuck at home all week.

11.11.11

2011-11-11T10:21:00.001+08:00

Within a couple of weeks of my last post, blogger has changed their layout, totally confusing me.

Anyway, just wanted to say it's 11.11.11. yay!

after weeks of talking about getting a bike license, i've finally managed to get through to my mom. she's agreed to it, although i suspect that it was only to shut me up. hahah! regardless of reason, the important thing is that she has agreed. now i have to find a way to make her fund it. i could probably fund it myself but it'll take forever to finish the course cos i'll have to manage on my allowance.we'll see how that goes.

i'm currently obsessing with which bike to buy. at first i was thinking that i'll just buy a vespa. but then the more i look at the bikes, the cooler they all seem. and the more i want to get a sports bike. i asked for a little help on fb but the one that offered the help was a guy i really don't like. ahhh.

The family is going to Malaysia next week. Genting, to be exact. I'm so excited, I hope my period doesn't come and ruin things for me. The boyfriend, Victor, and I are planning to go for a short holiday. Problem is that we can't decide on where to go. I'm not going to a place where neither of us knows anything about. I was thinking malacca cos it's really small and we can hardly get lost there. But he wants to discover new places with me. Sweet but not the right time for it. Besides, we're both on a tight budget. I'm trying to persuade him to go to Bintan/Batam with me. See how, see how.

Anyways, exams are over and i'm just spending my days watching Bones and doing my nails. I've lost touch and I need to get back into the game. I currently have gradient nails and totallllyyyyyy loving them. don't feel like taking it off until i get a proper inspiration.

that's all for now. have fun and say no to drugs.

Deepa(vali)

2011-10-27T02:32:00.000+08:00

Whenever Deepavali comes creeping up on you, all of a sudden you realise you have so many things to do, so little time. Leaving my exams out of the equation, all this fuss is really quite a pain(vali) in the ass.

But then Deepavali comes and the actual day turns out to be pretty damn fantastic. I don't understand why we wait until Deepavali each year to bond with siblings/relatives. Or maybe we just have extra patience to fake a little love for the people we hate.

Whichever case it may be, let me talk about my Deepavali'11. It's the first year where I did NO shopping AND I didn't put any henna. but that's not the point.

It's my first Deepavali where I wasn't at home at 12mdnight. It's also the first Deepavali with my boyfriend. It's the first Deepavali where I watched fireworks in Little India from a cab with the midnight charges (50% of normal fare) running. So many firsts, niceee!

I know I'm always talking about my boyfriend. He's just so awesome right now that I can't imagine not being with him. Not that I'm tempting fate or anything. Lately, I'm just analysing things, maybe over analysing, but I think I've come to realise that there really is some higher power out there, helping me/us get through all the shit. It's just miraculous how things have sorted themselves out. Hardwork pays off. :))

I'm going to sleep now. Once again, Happy Deepavali. For those who missed it in Singapore, fret no. Deepavali is where the heart is. Just light up some sparklers, eat some murruku and watch some tamil movie. You'll have the essence of modern day Deepavali.

Give and get shit.

2011-10-03T10:35:00.000+08:00

There is something extremely weird about how my relationship with my boyfriend is working out to be.

First of all, the ex-bf whom I've now come to hate with a vengeance, got married 2 days ago. I was quite irritated thinking about it. Then I saw their ROM pictures and I burst out laughing. OHHHH GODDDD. Besides totally killing the colour purple and the beauty of two-tones, they look FUCKING AWFUL. oh god, what was I doing with such a guy in the first place? My parents would NEVER have approved anyway. And dear fat people, please try to keep your BULGING stomach hidden.

Moving on.

I've been giving shit to my boyfriend this last week. Extreme attitude, not saying I love you back when he says it first and just being a bloody pain in the ass. Usually, my boyfriend is not the softy time, that is to say, he isn't intimidated by my. But I realised that the meaner I became, the softer he became. Almost accommodating.

It was so weird. He was quick to apologize, buttering me up with sweet nothings, over-showing care and concern. Hmmm. Interesting. It's either that he's scared of pissing me off more than I already am or he's cheating on me. LOL.

LOLWTF Category

2011-09-17T11:37:00.000+08:00

Thanks to my loyal (possibly only) reader who has left a comment, I realised that it's a bloody trend.

Awesome people date people from the LOLWTF category because we have yet to realise our own Awesomeness.

So, right now, there are a couple of things that I need to do. Firstly, I need to stop thinking about losers and focusing on my very awesome friends. Which reminds me, can't wait for the picnic tomorrowwww!!

Despite all this shit I've done for my current boyfriend, I called him this morning to ask him to follow me to get drinks. They're way too heavy for my to carry. All the muscles in my body put together also won't be equal to the muscles in his ONE bicep. AHAHAHA. That lazy fella said it won't be possible cos he wants to sleep. Wait, just wait, the next time he asks for a favour, I'll say my ass is too heavy for me to move.

Irritating.

Moving onnnn, I need to stop blogging and concentrate on my test which is in about 2.5 hours. Of course, I have to vent all my frustration out here before I go sit for the test. Clear the bad energy around me.

oh oh oh, tomorrow, we're going to get the new car!!! I'm totally devastated that we'll be selling the current car. The first car I drove, the first car I crashed, the first car I took my friend out with, the first car I had... well, let's not go there now.

my point is that it's my first car!! Well, technically not MY car, but you get the point. OOOHH I'M SO SAD.

but change is the only constant in life right? The new car looks cool although a little bit smaller. Hyundai Tucson. Don't be fooled with the seemingly easy way of pronouncing Tucson. It's not really Tuck-son. it's Tu-sonn. macham act cool.

Anyway, I'm blessed to have Tyra as a best friend. She really thinks about everything that I don't think about or too lazy to think about. HAHA

Fun Fact : Did you know Lion King is the kid's version of Hamlet?

Wedding Bliss

2011-09-11T14:28:00.000+08:00

My ex-boyfriend, whom i broke up with in March 2011, is getting married in October 2011. Yes, in the same year. I don't know if anyone else sees the joke in this but I seriously feel cheated. Anyway, as much as I would like to act like I'm so over it, I'm totally fucking depressed by it.

The close friends don't get it because they think he was totally useless in the first place. True, but still, love and all. I can't tell the new boyfriend about it because he'll totally misunderstand.

It's not that I have any lingering feelings for the ex. I'm just totally flabbergasted at the audacity of that man.

Moving on, in more than one way, I've noticed that my current relationship has somewhat changed from extraordinary to ordinary. The longest relationship I've had was 2 years, but I'm going to stop saying it was a relationship cos 3/4 of the time the guy was not with me. The next longest relationship was almost a year. 10 months to be exact. and the one following that was what... 3 months?

While people say this means I cannot stay committed to any one guy, I prefer to see it as I know what I want or more appropriately, what I don't want.

Why stay in a relationship for YEARS only to realize that he's totally wrong wrong wrong for you!!! There's no point in having the whole world talk about how awesomely loyal and faithful you are when really, you're just suffering inside.

So, ladies and gentlemen, the world has a ton of things to say about you. What matters is what you say about yourself. I've learned from my mistakes and I've learned from other's mistakes. I promised myself not to be in a position where others will manipulate me. If I do choose to be with someone, it's because he makes me happy for that time. Live in the moment, it's the best experience in the whole world. :)

On a side note, I'm totally going crazy about wedding gowns after I've seen a beautiful gown in IMM. OHHH <3

Baby, it's cold outside.

2011-09-02T10:10:00.000+08:00

Yes, I'm back to bitch about relationships.

So I've never particularly WANTED to have a relationship or went around saying 'I want a boyfriend, I need a boyfriend' etc. I just take it as it comes. And taking into consideration the kind of person I am, someone even remotely having romantic feelings for me is a rib tickler. In any case, lately, I've been hearing people say that they are 'looking' for a boyfriend/girlfriend. or they whine about not having a boyfriend/girlfriend.

eh wait, please calm down for a second and think about things.

Having a relationship, especially in Singapore, IS NO EASY THING.

it costs $$$$$.

now would you want to spend $200-$300 a month on someone else, for food, entertainment etc etc, or would you rather use that money on yourself? don't fool yourself into thinking that relationships are like those in Glee Club where everything will be okay if you break out into a song in the middle of the canteen or some thing.

relationships are not only expensive, they're mentally and physically draining. until you get to the point where both parties have fully understood each other's good and bad, relationships are TERRIBLE. you do something, it offends the other party, you spend time trying to explain only to make things worse. the vile words will come out, things they dont mean and will later regret saying. there will be shouting, crying and whatever drama. then someone has to go out of the way to show they still care cos the other party will cocoon him/herself until some effort is put in to show a change. it's always the same old crap.

sometimes you wonder if it's even worth all this trouble.

so, my advice is that, instead of looking for a

Manicure Madness.

2011-07-16T13:42:00.000+08:00

I did a manicure for Gayathri, one of the three people who bother dropping by. Haha. Frankly speaking, I was a little nervous at first. But I think it turned out pretty good. I like it. I think she does too. Or maybe she's just being nice. hahaha. some of my other friends saw it and now they're asking me to do it for them too! ahh. hahaha.

anyways, i watched Harry Potter already. Seriously speaking, it was a bit of a disappointment. I mean the movie was epic in a way that only Harry Potter movies can be. But the fact that it was the last one and all. i left the cinema feeling a little depressed. Oh damn. Still awesome otherwise. I'm not going to spoil it for you by discussing the movie just yet. maybe the second time i watch it, i'll remember and blog about it.

Not much to do on a Saturday afternoon. Just going to bum around until taekwondo. Take careeeeee.

No job tonight.

2011-07-08T11:43:00.001+08:00

I don't understand some guys. Someone just complained to me that his girlfriend is not giving him blowjobs. Seriously, that qualifies as a problem to bitch about? Blowjobs.
Whattt.

He told me that she used to do it all the time, but recently, she doesn't seem interested anymore. So I was saying maybe she has some problems so she not in the mood.
Then he tells me, but she seems fine when we're having sex what.

What the hell?!?

She has sex with you and you're complaining about not getting a blow? That's.... Bullshit!!
I really didn't want to believe that I have such a fucked up friend so I had to clarify.

"So you're telling me that she gets naked, does it with you and gives you an orgasm?...."

He said "yeah, sometimes we do it more than once."

"AND YOU ARE COMPLAINING ABOUT NOT GETTING A BLOWJOB??!?!!"

He said " eh, blowjob is different. Sometimes I want quickie. Not waste time to make her wet all"

Ahhhhh wth, Ahhh. Making her wet is now a waste of time? Ahhhhh. Our friendship is over. I don't want to be friends with idiots.

I told him to put his selfishness aside and thank his gf for putting up with a total asshole like him.

Seriously, why you complaining about the jujubi stuff. Oh god, I don't understand.

Don't give men sex la. Totally not worth it. Bunch of useless fellas.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.2

Between a rock and a hard place.

2011-07-07T10:57:00.002+08:00

We all know that when it comes to emotions, one can't explain or control them.

and just for the record, humans weren't meant to be monogamous.

10 signs that you're hanging out with Nigerians too much.

2011-07-06T11:27:00.000+08:00

1. You start to like the crazy curly hair and imagine yourself with hair like that
2. You eat Sugee more than you eat rice even though Sugee is totally tasteless.
3. You put IndoMee in bread and eat it like a sandwich
4. You start to have new appreciation for the colour Black and you like the way it looks against your skin
5. The garble that they call Pidgin English starts to make sense to you
6. You start to say random phrases in Nigerian Pidgin and they think you're so cute
7. You secretly know that every one of them has a big dick. (sorry, i can't help but add this one)
8. You start to convert everything to Nigerian currency (Naira) to compare costs.
9. You're on Skype more often than you are on MSN
10. You start to love Jesus.

This is just for fun, people. Don't get sensitive.
The Nigerian people that I have come to know are a great bunch of people. They've been very welcoming, some overly so. I'm never hungry when I go there because someone is always inviting me to eat with them. They've made my holidays memorable and I'm grateful for all the laughter they've brought me. While I'm not going to stop seeing them or talking to them, school will start soon and I will have less time, with all the sending and fetching of mother.

Even though many people say that Nigerians are all cheats, that's a stereotype that I want to say is unproven with these bunch of boys. They're not cheats. They're just extremely horny. And no one understands this better than I do. HAHAHA.

So, this is the update that Jnanee has been asking for. I'm going to canoodle with my prawn sambal now.

PEACE OUT.

Wedding Bells are ringing.

2011-07-05T20:26:00.000+08:00

I saw the ex. And news is that he's getting married on Oct 1st.

What's funny is that it's Children's Day and he cant have any. Or so he says. Only time will tell.

Moving on, school's opening soon. I'm not quite sure I'm ready for it. On the other hand, I can't wait to have something to do. All this time I've spent with the boys, ohhhh, it's making me feel so lazy. I know what my sister is thinking now.

'YOU MEAN YOU CAN GET MORE LAZY THAN YOU ALREADY ARE??!?'

Apparently I can. Well, whatever.

I have a cute niece

New toy.

2011-07-02T00:42:00.001+08:00

Eh hi.
It's been a month since I updated the blog. You know how when you get a new toy, you forget about the old toys? Something like that. With my new toy, albeit a person, I have no time for my blog all. But since it is freaking July already, need to post something, anything!

Let me see. In the course of the month, I learned quite a bit.
1) I have absolutely no morals whatsoever.
2) size doesn't matter. Seriously.
3) never let sister sit in the driver's seat until she's a qualified driver.
4) I am a pretty good liar
5) I am a genius

Actually I knew I was a genius all along. I just keep proving it over and over again in June. Haha.

Anyway, as you may or may not know, I'm currently dating a black guy. African in every way possible. And yes, their hair is curly everywhere. And I mean everywhere. With exception of the eyebrows.

Right now, no one seems supportive of it. Honestly, sometimes I even question my own actions. But as I told tyra, I'm living in the moment. Sure it got me into a whole lot of trouble but it worked itself out.

Just some friendly advice, do anything you want but don't get caught.

That, my dear friends, is the secret to having adventures.

Oh, and if you do get caught, deny everything.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.2

Arcade madness

2011-06-01T11:29:00.001+08:00

What a bloody awesome night it was. Met with Tyra and Vinodh at JP. Had BK and then went to play arcade! How long has it been since I stepped into a damn arcade! While Tyra and I were thinking of having a go at the air hockey table, Vinodh wanted to play Daytona. To our disappointment, there was no air hockey! The tables were replaced by some dumbass game which no one was playing anyway. Anyway, we went to play Daytona.

Now, the last time I played Daytona was when I was 17. Long before my driving lessons even began. I have never won a race before, especially when I am playing with guys. So when I sat down on my cramped seat feeling all F1-ish, I knew I was gonna lose again.

Tyra and I chose auto while our dear Vinodh(who doesn't have a license yet) chose manual. Interesting, right? Yes. I saw my first glimmer of hope. Maybe I can come in second.

And then, the race begins. Ask anyone and they will tell you that common sense says you should tap the break or slow down when you.come to Sharp turns. Yea, but out of my excitement, my foot never left the accelerator pedal the entire time. I drove at top speed at all bends and naturally, crashed the car a couple of thousand times. Hahahaha.

Both Tyra and Vinodh were behind me every second of the way. We came changing places with every turn. One turn I am in first place, next turn I am third place, Tyra crashes and I am back in second place. Haha. This keeps happening but only tyra and I are crashing. So coming to the last few laps, Vinodh's car starts to go all weird. His machine probably couldn't handle his gear shifting. He gives up cos it starts to steer left all the time.

Tyra and I are left and she just behind my bum. I press down even harder on the pedal even though it can't go any faster and before I know it, I am zooming past the finish line.

OMG! I WONNNN! OMGGGGG.

:D

First time ever.

So, I don't know if my driving knowledge had anything to do with me winning, especially since I didn't even follow the rules, but winning Daytona is like winning the F1.

So, if you want my autograph, please get in touch with my agent.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.9

Things I never thought I would have said..

2011-05-31T13:58:00.000+08:00

Oh damn.

Could it be? Could it possibly be...? Dammmmnnn. Never would I have thought that this day would arrive. My sister.. My very own blood sister.

Has the day arrived that my sister is finally becoming....cool?

I've been reading her blog posts recently and I have noticed a change in the way she writes her pieces. She ended one of the posts with 'now, fuck off'. why is that cool? because it's honest.

anyways, recovering from that shock, yes, my sister and I are now AUNTS and my brother is an UNCLE. HAHAHA. I feel old already. booboo. but i'm way awesome.

moving on.

i just snipped 2 inches off my hair. can you believe that the guy i am dating is actually telling me what I should or should not do? when did i lower myself to the level of listening to what someone else! Argh. in any case, let me just highlight this fact to you.

NICE PEOPLE HAVE PSYCHO TENDENCIES.

really.

now, i'm going to do something that's far more important than wasting my time trying to type my thoughts out in a systematical manner without appearing to be bi-polar.

i am going to take a dump.

Formspring

2011-05-29T08:41:00.001+08:00

Someone sent me a message via formspring. Something along the lines of me being cute. Whoever you are, thank you. :)

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.9

No more secrets

2011-05-28T08:27:00.001+08:00

Sometimes I wonder if there will ever come a time where I will cease to have any secrets. I know for know that the single most secret about myself has been shared with a few trustworthy people. Which means it is no longer a secret. So now I am thinking, every secret of mine involves one other person, at least. So what constitutes a secret?

se·cret
Adjective: Not known or seen or not meant to be known or seen by others: "a secret plan".
Noun: Something that is kept or meant to be kept unknown or unseen by others: "a state secret".

I wonder, do you have a secret which only you know?

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.9

My Personal Person

2011-05-24T13:55:00.000+08:00

I realise i've been talking about guy and my escapades with them. it's boring me, let alone all of you. hence, i'm going to talk about something that has been bothering me for some time.

at what point in a relationship are you comfortable enough to burp and fart in front of them? recently i met someone who burped while i was eating and i always regurgitated. it wasnt the normal kind of burp. it was a revolting belch which was long and LOUD. isnt that the kind of thing you do in private or when you're home or something?

and you know how sometimes when you see someone with booger in their nose, moving in rhythm to the person's breathing and you're so worried it's going to fall on you? you dont know if you should tell them or not. You're worried about embarrassing the person. even worse, you're afraid of embarrassing yourself.

at what point are you comfortable enough to tell the other person about the offending booger or to emit gas? I don't know.

Company and kisses.

2011-05-18T16:54:00.000+08:00

Yesterday I woke up and was generally having a bad morning with my period. I went back to sleep and around 9am, I received a call.

With one eye open, i checked the caller's name, it's Blue. I can't help but smile. I pick up the call and this is what he says.

Good Morning My Queen!

All of a sudden my heart is doing double flips and my smile is threatening to tear my lips apart. What is wrong with me! When did I become this cheesy sucker of a girl, falling for such amateur traps!

Anyways, I wanna talk about something that has been bothering me for a while now.

After the saga with 6-pac and his girlfriend, I've become very cautious about the gf. Anything to do with her makes me worried. So, when I found out that my manicurist's brother was hanging out with 6-pac's gf, obviously I got worried. I told my manicurist about it because it's a sensitive thing. Besides, I don't even know the brother too well. All of a sudden, I have calls and messages from the brother and from 6-pac demanding to know why I spoke to my manicurist about it.

Hello, I was being concerned that the brother is going to try to potong jalan the gf? How did it end up being 6-pac being insecure about the gf hanging out with the other guy? People can really blow things out of proportion. Which is why I came to a long overdue conclusion.

STOP TRYING TO FUCKING HELP PEOPLE.

just make sure you're happy and that's all that matters.
no one else fucking cares if you have good intentions or if you want to best for them. no one cares about how things might affect you. no one cares. so why do you? why do i?

and to end of this post, i just want to say that for a few months, i was wallowing in self pity. i kept questioning why this happened to me, why i had to be the one to feel such pain.

now, i think to myself, i am glad this happened to me. i'm glad that i felt such pain. it has made me much stronger and also made me realise how important happiness is. i understand that Tyra and Sirhaan don't want to see me get hurt over and over again and so they are against me seeing Blue. But Blue makes me happy in a way that I didn't think I will be. He makes me feel all giggly and girly. He makes me feel like I am actually important in his life. I'm not saying I'm getting into a relationship with him. I've told him that I'm not going to and probably never will. Truth is, I enjoy his company and his kisses and I don't see why I have to end it until i have to end it. We both understand where we stand in this and that's all I need right now. Just company and kisses.

Physiology of sex

2011-05-18T11:45:00.001+08:00

Instruction in sex is as important as instruction in food; yet not only are our adolescents not taught the physiology of sex, but never warned that the strongest sexual attraction may exist between persons so incompatible in tastes and capacities that they could not endure living together for a week much less a lifetime. ~George Bernard Shaw, Everybody's Political What's What, 1944

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8

Reservations

2011-05-17T15:35:00.000+08:00

I have been reading this book Red Blooded Murder.

For the first time in my life, I really related to the characters and the stuff they are going through. I have tried and tried to find an explanation to why I do the things that I do, things that most people don't seem to understand.

In any case, I have an update. After the wonderful night that ended in such a disappointing way, I thought about whether I want to see him again. Truth is that I really enjoyed myself and if not for him asking me money, I would have definitely wanted to see him again. At least now he knows how I feel about the money thing. Besides, everyone deserves a second chance, right? Yes.

So I thought what the hell, I'll just meet him. And I am glad I did. I had awesome awesome fun. We don't do much and still I have such a good time. Is this what perfect company feels like? It's like he genuinely enjoys just being in my company. We sat at burger king in silence and it didn't feel like one of us had to break the silence. He's pretty funny too.

I know and understand that everyone has their reservations about new people. But we must always give them the benefit of the doubt. That's what I believe. I will not mark someone down for something they have said or done neither will I forget what they have said or done. From my own experiences, I have learned that even the nicest of people can make the gravest of mistakes. And forgiveness is divine.

Some say these are just rebound guys while I'm trying to get over Ben. I want to clear that misconception. I am completely over Ben. Any feelings for him have dissolved by now. I feel nothing for him anymore.

This new guy, hereon known as Blue, is just what I need right now. There is no crazy sexual thing going on or any expectations or pressure. He seems happy just being in my presence and I find joy in that. I'm not naive to think that he is perfect or that he is my happy ending.

I'm done being overly concerned with the past and the future. I want to live for the present. Now, is all I want to enjoy and at this point in time, my happiness is all I care for. If Blue makes me happy, then Blue is who I will hang out with. If there comes a time where he upsets me or I realise things are not working out for me, then I'll just part ways. I am tired of listening to people telling me who I should or should not hang out with. Judging people is not something I would like to do.

Would you like to be judged?

Hear me ROARRRR!!

2011-05-16T00:37:00.000+08:00

i have many things to say today. so i'm going to start with how bloody awesome my bbq was.

all my close friends and some not so close friends were there. it was a blast, except for the cake smash on my face. i got really mad at that. but moving on, food was good, company was good, games were good.

now, the only thing i want to say is my dad is awesome. he pretty much pulled off the bbq by himself and was there the entire time, helping me with the bbq-ing and ferrying my friends. <3

also thanks to my sis, muza and tyra for going the extra mile in helping me with the bbq.

moving on.

I went out with this guy earlier, and he treated me like I was Queen. He made me laugh like crazy and even did stupid things like feeding me, which is spastic and romantic at the same time. PLEASE DONT JUDGE ME FOR HAVING SAID THAT. hahahaha. i was having such a great time, and he wanted to see me again. I said okay and we were making plans to meet the next day. While walking back to the main road, he brushes his hand against mine twice. I don't pull back or move away so he slowly holds my hand.

ahhh i'm melting.

then he interlinks our fingers.

ahhh, melting somemore.

then we're walking and he is saying he had a great time and he cant wait for tomorrow. by this time, I'm smiling like an arse. we walk around the corner and it's all dark and shadowy. we both realise at the same time that it's now or never. we stop walking and then he leans in and gives me the most softest kiss I have ever had the pleasure of receiving.

by this time, i think my brain has stopped functioning. all i know is that i want more.

so we're going at it again and then he stops to ask me if he can bite my lips. HAHAHA. then suddenly, one indian man on a bicycle rides past us. when he saw what we're doing, he slowed down so much that walking would be faster. i quickly panic and stop kissing in case we end up on stomp.

We walk to the bus stop and I'm feeling all lovey dovey. we sit at the bus stop and i'm so ready to eat him. it was some primal instinct or something. my heart was beating so fast, i thought it was gonna explode. every nerve in my body was tingling. then he does the most unexpected thing.

he asks me for money.

kwa kwa kwa.

what a fucking disappointment.

moral of the story, the higher they bring you, the harder you fall.

Free hugs

2011-05-07T18:22:00.001+08:00

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8

General Elections 2011

2011-05-05T10:50:00.001+08:00

Please vote wisely. (:

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8

Night out with sis

2011-05-04T00:29:00.001+08:00

Wax appointment. Breathe!

Empire state. Awesome food.

The angry birds manicure that my sister demanded I do for her.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8

A quiet day

2011-05-04T00:18:00.001+08:00

Hard a darn good time with sister last night. I shall put some pics up later. Today was relatively quiet. Only three people called to wish me. Tyra, Sirhaan and cousins. Most of the people wished me on fb. Few through sms. I was pleasantly surprised to see gayathri sms me birthday wishes. It is kinda cute to think about my primary school friends still keeping in touch with me.
Close to 40 people wished me. But if not for fb, probably only 4 would have remembered.

In any case, thank you all. :)

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8

Journey into Adulthood.

2011-05-03T01:06:00.000+08:00

Well hello hello.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEE! <3

20 years done. that's 1/4 of my lifetime here on earth. eeeks.

that is actually a scary thought. wait till another 2 decades have passed. i'll be really shitting my pants then. figuratively i hope.
I had all sorts of plans on how I should celebrate my birthday this year. Because my ex and I had the same birthday, most of my plans involved him. After we broke up, I thought I was gonna be alone this birthday. But hell no. I have tyra to thank for this. She has been there for me every step of the way. She even cheated and called me a couple of mins earlier to make sure she would be the first to wish me. Friends like these are one in a million. And Justina, lj and Hema, the girls who were close to me during jc also wished me and sent their love. My friends are all there. I just have to open my eyes and see it.
anyways, wish you guys and girls a good day, cos i know mine is going to be freaking awesome.To mark the beginning of this journey, I got waxed. The pain is totally exaggerated.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8

Why I dislike Indian Men.

2011-05-02T13:24:00.000+08:00

Specimen A.

A : Hi Sweetie
Me : Heyy
A : How are you? Wat doing?
Me : Okay la. Just on fb.
A : Oh ok... Miss me??
Me : uh...
A : Asking whether you miss me
Me : Not really.
A : Oh ok... Sorry to bother u
Me : Not bothering me. :)
A : Oh ok

*** A is now offline***

Specimen B.

B : Hi how u doin
Me : I am fine, how about you?
B : im very gd..where u stay
Me : in the west.
B : where la?
Me : why would i want to tell you where I live. I dont even know you. please brush up on your conversational skills
B : its just a casual question...go and see ur face in the mirror..i just ask fer fun onli..i dun wanna noe fat ass.. lean how to tok dun talk as if ur skills are good...bitch
Me : learn how to spell first.
B : thats msging form of typin..dunno which year u r in...poor thing bye dun waste my time.

Sigh.

NOTD - Angry Birds

2011-05-02T09:04:00.001+08:00

Love!

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8

Teenage dreams.

2011-05-02T08:58:00.001+08:00

Well hello there. It is the day before my 20th birthday and I cannot wait. Although there is no school, I have no concrete plans in place. Just have to wing it.

So, let me see, mm. 6pac's gf added me on fb. Probably to keep an eye on me. Better watch what I say on fb. It is quite thrilling to be 'the other woman'. But we all know karma is a bitch. Thanks to tyra for reminding me. So, I think I should stop giving him the green light and go all lesbian on him. In any case, I invited them both to my bbq to prove my neutrality.

Boys and girls, don't cheat on your gf or bf. It is just vile. If it ain't going anywhere, do both yourselves a favour and end it. Don't prolong the agony and make it worse by cheating on anyone.

So, anyway, topic of the day.. Well, I don't have anything to say except how awesome my nails are. Oooh angry birds! Such a hit with my little cousins. :D Even for someone who can't draw to save her life, I think it was pretty good. Hahaha.

I am now going to roll around in bed until I am forced to go shower.

Signing off as a 19 year old,
Maniaque.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8

Best of both worlds. [Rated M18 for language.]

2011-04-28T09:17:00.003+08:00

So I was sort of seeing somebody. I was actually ready to let my defenses down and thought this was going to be different cos it started differently.

You know how I always talk about Indian men mostly being jerks?
Well, now I have evidence that some black men are jerks too.

The somebody in this case happened to be a black guy. Whatever they say about black men, it's all true. :P

Anyways, seriously speaking, I knew him end of 2009. There was a brief spark of romance but then it became sort of sexual, something I didn't need at that time. After meeting my bf, I just ignored all the other people cos I was blinded by love. All I wanted to do was to be with the bf. Now he is gone and so are most of my friends. No surprises there. Please don't do that to yourself.

Anyway, we (me and the black guy, hereon known as 6-pac), started talking again and things picked up from where we left them.

He sang me songs for fuck sake. I can't resist a singer, especially one who incorporates my name into the song. What a sucker I am. Anyways, I almost thought this was going somewhere. So I said okay, let's just see how things go. As usual, with a black man and his sex drive, clothes don't stay on for long.
Right after we indulge in a little funky play, he tells me things can't get serious cos he has a gf.

Deep breath.

WHAT THE FUCK.

Lucky for me, I haven't gotten all lovey dovey over him yet. Sure, there was a little tingle in the air with 6-pac, but I have tingles in the air with blueberry pancakes so that's not saying much. I recovered pretty quickly from this shock. Something in the back of my mind tells me that I should walk away from this mess.

Did I listen? Like all fucking fantastic Taureans, no, I didn't.

I just went with the flow, did whatever I did cos it made me happy, while reserving my emotions. Yes, I know, you can point it out now. I am the 3rd party in their relationship. I am getting the attention I want without being emotionally attached or risking the potential emotional attachment of the other party because he is already in a relationship.

Then it hit me. oh my god. I am behaving like a man. and what's wrong with that? NOTHING. cos it feels so fucking fineeee! Now I totally understand why men like to screw with our heads and hearts like that.

and then a couple of nights ago, 6-pac explicitly attempts to borrow cash from me. I gave it to him not because I am a naive little chick. I'm way past that. I gave it to him because at that moment in time, I could afford it and he needed it. Since then, things have changed. He's texting me with kisses and stuff.

The worst part was when I was sleeping and he calls me, so I'm in my wtf is going on mode, and he tells me that things are complicated and he wish it was different but it's not. He loves his gf but he can't hide the fact that he loves me too. He always did (back from when we first knew each other) until now. He just thought I should know.

Question is WHY!!!

why would you want to tell me this? because if i thought you love me, i would spend my money on you? because i'll be more willing to drop my panties for you? because i'll stay and let you use me in every way you can possibly use a person and then let you dump me and blame me for everything because i'm the foul whore that intentionally got between you and your gf?

grow up, fuckers.

i'm way over it. these three words are supposed to be sacred you know. not flung around in a conversation where the chick is more asleep than awake. it is total subliminal mindfuck.

the next morning, when i wake up, the three words are bouncing around in my head like a bloody bumper car showdown.

i question 6-pac about it and he tells me 'the fact remains that i love you but cant be with you'.

so i said the only thing i could have said to make things seem neutral, to seem like i didn't really care, to seem that i am as much a man as he is.

i said 'Okay'.

Moral support

2011-04-21T16:47:00.001+08:00

I know i am now in this phase of nail painting. i am also well aware that sometimes i do crazy things and mix crazy colours. it makes me excited you know? cos i dont actually know how it is going to look until it is done. it gives me a feeling that i havent felt since my break up. and that is excitement. curiousity. satisfaction.

the only problem is that whenever i try something, my sister is so quick to disapprove. i dont know what she bases her judgements on. just because a fat woman tries a dress that is specifically made for a skinny woman, it doesnt make the dress ugly. it's just put on the wrong person, so the brilliance doesnt show off. that doesnt mean there is no brilliance in it!

i'm not saying all my ideas are awesome. and this isnt have anything to do with my sister and what she thinks is nice or otherwise. generally, people are so quick to diss something that they havent even had time to analyse. works of art, movies, songs, books, clothes, whatever. all of these are human creations. born from a single thought, a vision, a dream.

have you tried to explain or draw your dream house or your favourite food? perhaps the emotion that you're feeling right now, while you are reading this? could you describe it in detail, down to the exact colour of the wall of the kitchen or the taste of the pineapple in a pizza?

so many people have done it. they have translated their visions, dreams even, into reality, they put their thoughts into words, images, designs and all we do is to mock them.

we mocked Micheal Jackson for his nose, mocked justin beiber for his voice, mocked britney for shaving her hair off, mocked rebbeca black for Friday and we mocked and still mock the man who cries during national day.

these people, among many, have put into action what they have dreamed of. i'm not saying that this makes them perfect. no, they have their flaws, some rather obvious ones, but they are after all humans. they have the same passion, the same anger, the same love as all of us do.

and who are we to judge them for it? if you dont like the music or the books or the movies that someone produces, then just dont subscribe to it. dont listen to it, dont read it, dont watch it. there is no reason for you to be critical of someone who doesnt even know you exist. why do i say this? because i know some nosy fella will say 'then if my friend does something wrong, i shouldnt say anything?'

no, go ahead, tell your friend you hate their fashion sense, tell your friend her hair sucks, tell your friend that she is being a whiny pain in the ass. but that's because you feel that way and your friend cares about what you think. she doesnt have to change it just because you dont like it. but at least she's aware of what your tastes and is likely to adapt to you to make you happy too. however, if saying what you really feel is going to break the friendship, well sad to say, that wasnt friendship at all in the first place.

now coming back to point. i dont get why people say 'oh she sucks' and then continue to hang out with them. or say bieber's songs suck and then go and listen to his song and make vile comments.

oh, and let me take this opportunity to say that i am not a bieber fan. i just like the song baby baby baby ohhh, baby baby baby noo...

moving on, the new thing with lady gaga and her song judas? if you dont like it, dont freaking listen to it. who is forcing you to sit through it? what happened to freedom of speech? and as we all know, since we dont quite have that over here, what happened to freedom of expression?

why can't someone kiss someone in public without having to appear on stomp? oh why can't someone paint her nails in awful colours because she wants to? even better, why can't someone go out of the house without make up on?

the world needs to stop judging. we all have skeletons hidden in the closet.

the ability to live harmoniously will arrive one day.

and when that day comes, we shall shed our clothes along with our inhibitions, insecurities, judgments and fears and learn the true meaning of being oneself.

Nail of the day.

2011-04-18T23:25:00.001+08:00

Inspired from the night spent with tyra

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8

To wax or not.

2011-04-18T11:27:00.000+08:00

Having spent most of the week trying to get the computing assignment done, I decided to go over to Tyra's place.

oh my god. what a riot.

we had cereal prawns for lunch, then went back to my place to leave the car. then cabbed back to her place. started trying on dresses. played with nails. had dinner and awesome caramel popcorn. ooh yummy. expensive caramel popcorn. and then we went back to her room, drunk on caramel and cheese. started singing songs. good old karaoke. it was the happiest i've been all month. well maybe not. i've been really happy on numerous occasions this month.hehe.

anyways, while we were doing our stuff, we were on WhatsApp with a friend of mine that I had recently introduced to Tyra. They've only known each other for a day and a half when he told her that she saved his life. we asked him why he said that, to which he said he told his mother he found someone so she isnt annoying him about finding someone to marry.

and in classic tyra style, oh, am, gee!!!

is he out of his mind to say this to someone who he has JUST met? and that too, over msn?

this made me think.

at which point in a relationship is it okay to say stuff like that?

in my opinion, it's never a good time unless you're both comfortable enough to fart in each other's presence. shouldnt be a problem for men, but for women, haha, that's gonna take a long time.

for most men, i believe the word 'marriage' is like threatening to end his life. but why do people have this concept of marriage? isnt marriage just a social contract between two people? marriage supposedly brings together two people in love. so why is it so frightening when all you're doing is being with your loved one? unless the reason you're so afraid is not the destination, but rather the journey to getting married.

falling in love, believe it or not, can be really scary. that's why they say 'falling', not 'frolicking' or some other nice word. the harder you fall in love, the more it's gonna hurt. i think we all know that by now. could it be the reason why men fear marriage? is it the fact that they have to open up and express their love, prepare for rejection, take on the responsibility of being with someone, to care for them and whatever else? or is it about sex? the fear of having only one woman(usually) in bed for the rest of your life?

perhaps humans are so social in nature that being 'tied down' to one person for every brings out the basic instinct to repel it? even in the animal kingdom, only 7 percent of mammals engage in social monogamy. so is it because we have the ability think for ourselves that we come up with such complex rules to bind two people together?

i dont think we'll ever know why people say marriage is a bane.

Refer to previous post.

2011-04-16T11:05:00.001+08:00

RT @stcom 14-yr-old girl in Malaysia was taken by her boyfriend to an abandoned house, stripped and gang-raped by 5 other men http://is.gd/C1rAqi

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8

An Honest Mistake

2011-04-16T11:00:00.000+08:00

Quick post before I run off to tuition.

If a guy says 'come over to my place, no one will be at home', he doesnt mean there is peace and quiet. what he actually means is that he's going to try to fuck you. there is no way around this. so if you're against pre-marital sex, or against sex in general, dont make the mistake of going anywhere you cant get out of in a hurry.

having said that, i'm not against pre-marital sex, so please, if you wanna do it, do it with protection.

the last thing you need, besides a kid in 9 months, is some nasty infection downunder.

make love, not war.

Good Girls Gone Bad.

2011-04-15T09:51:00.000+08:00

Well well, hello hello.

How my week has turned out! All I can say is that my 2011 new year resolution has been fulfilled. hahahahha

moving on, i really have to get my assignment done. it's due today. you know how when something is bad for you and you KNOW it is bad for you but you do it anyway because it feels really good? for instance eating fried food when you have a sore throat(ahem, sister), or playing monopoly deal when you have an assignment or exam due the next day. We don't even have to go so far as that. Take for instance, smoking, drugs, violence. we know it's bad for us but we do it anyway cos it feels good.

very bad. so now, in an attempt to be a good girl, i'm going to shut down this laptop and switch on my desktop to complete my work. catch you all later.

tip of the day : When you say no, you have to mean it.

Freestyle Singing

2011-04-13T22:19:00.000+08:00

I have been talking to a few guys over the last few days. PLAYGIRL ALERT. hahaha. no, just innocent conversations.

anyway, i shall not distract myself from the topic in hand. Flirting.

it's amazing how many different ways people can choose to flirt. i am particularly amazed by this one guy who chose to serenade me with freestyle singing. i was totally drawn to it because i have never had anyone sing a song for me, with my name in it. i never imagined anyone freestyle singing but it really shouldnt be so surprising cos i've heard freestyle rap. and when i say freestyle singing, i mean singing like how mario does.

which brings me to the next point. why do we bother flirting anyway? why do we dress up extra special, be extra polite and generally be on our best behaviour? aren't we giving the other person a false impression? Case in point, when it comes to going on a date, I shave all over, I wear make up and hide all the blemishes, I save up for at least a week to be able to afford any place the guy brings me to and lastly, i make sure i am politically correct all the time. I laugh gracefully at all the right instances even if I don't find it funny. I suppress my annoyance and force myself to have a smile throughout the date. How do I keep myself in check? I always ask myself, "What would Charlotte do?". Charlotte is the chick from Sex and the City who is very prim and proper.

But is that really me?

Hell no.

I laugh like a donkey or like I'm having an asthma attack. I am really lazy to shave my legs which is why i always wear long pants. I hate make up. I like to say everything I feel without filtering and I definitely show my annoyance when I get irritated. Those who have seen me get annoyed know exactly how fast my face changes.

So basically, we hide our true selves when we're going on dates, portraying ourselves to be someone else. And if it actually does go somewhere, isn't this relationship already based on a lie? And then when you start to actually go back to your true self, you are accused of being a changed person. So should be do away with flirting, romancing and trying to make a good impression?

People always say 'be yourself'. But being oneself is really the most difficult thing to do.

Don't fall in love with me.

2011-04-12T10:46:00.001+08:00

There is this funny phenomenon happening. Is it because of these movies?

'You have to promise you won't fall in love with me' - A Walk to Remember

'So don't fall in love with me.' - Deconstructing Harry

'Clara, don't fall in love with me' - Carne trémula

'Now, don't fall in love with me or anything, okay?' - Roger Doger

I could go on quoting, but I think you know where I am going with this.

I recently heard someone tell me not to fall in love with him. It was the first time I've heard it from someone I know personally. How weird. Why would you even want to say such a thing?

You know, sometimes we don't think about something actively until it is planted in our minds. Kind of like Inception. For instance, when someone says something with sexual innuendo and you dont catch it, it seems very innocent.. until someone points it out to you. After that, everything seems to have a hint of sex because now your brain is focusing on it. Or like when someone says 'Don't Cry.' If you weren't already crying, the second someone says it, the waterworks come on. I can't explain it but it seems as though your brain has been jerked into motion, to do the exact opposite of what has been told to you. We see it happening all the time.

I am sure that if we think about it for a while, we will realize that this happens all the time. Is this some sort of subconscious reverse psychology? Anyway, back to point..

Why on earth would he want to tell me not to fall in love? Saying such a thing to me makes me acutely aware of the potentiality of falling in love with him, therefore making me self conscious. So I make an extra effort not to fall in love with him. However, I start to wonder, can we really control whether we fall in love or not? Is it a switch for me to flip on or off as I please?

The stuff we hear in movies are the product of creative script writers wanting to add some flavour in our otherwise dull life. We see things happening that doesn't happen in real life. The people in movies are what we want to be but can never be. The things that are done in movies are what we want to do but can never do. The words that are said in movies are things we want to say but can never say. So how could you bring a movie dialogue into real life?

And what possible right do you have, to tell someone what to feel?

I asked a close girlfriend why the guy would say that. She added that she and another guy she knows say the same thing. I thought it was something playboys/girls would say to make sure things say non-committal. However, according to her, she believes it's the line of someone who is afraid to get hurt.

Seriously? Do what extend would that be true? If I didn't want to get hurt, I would learn to keep my emotions in check. I wouldn't tell someone else to feel or not to feel something in order for my own selfish reasons.

It is rather immature. I know a lot of people who have been burned in relationships and speak ill of love and relationships, men and women. Not everyone has the capacity to love with equal fervor as you. Instead of condemning love, try to change the way you approach love.

Falling in love is easy. Staying in love, that's the hard part.

the basis of a relationship

2011-04-11T20:04:00.003+08:00

What is going on! After the break up, I began socializing like I used to. The guys, some funny, some down right boring, all had only one thing in common. The conversation we have somehow always boils down to.. you guessed it, sex. Am I surprised? To be honest, yes, very much so.

Is sex really the basis for a relationship in this day and age? Does sexual chemistry come before the discussion of ambitions, dreams, character and personality? So what happens if we don't have sexual chemistry? Does that mean we don't try to work around it and develop the other important things that relationships are based on?

I am utterly baffled. What happened to having intelligent or humorous conversations without the sexual innuendos? I'm not saying I don't want ANYTHING to do with sex when getting to know someone. I am someone who is especially sensitive to sexual innuendos and decipher any hints almost immediately. Having said that, it shouldn't be all about sex, especially when you're in the beginning stages of getting to know someone. There should always be more to the conversations. and please, dont even think about having sex of any kind on the first date, especially if you like the girl/guy.

Perhaps we should have a little checklist done for what a man says and doesnt. One section being a list of topics approved and another section with disapproved topics. Mine would go something like this.

Approved (in no particular order) :
Career
Ambition
Past relationships
Expectations of future relationship
Financial security
Hobbies
Pet Peeves
Culture
Family background
Educational background
Fears
Dirty habits****

Disapproved:
Sexual Fantasies
Past sexual experiences
expectations of future sexual experiences
choice of sleepwear
type of undergarments
naked photos/videos
comparison of girlfriends
bad mouthing past girlfriends
bad mouthing anyone for that matter
forcing to know something i am not comfortable talking about
family planning with me
calling me baby/darling/love/sweetheart/sweetie etc.
deep breathing

i'm sure i can think of other stuff given more time but I think you get what I mean. I cannot appreciate a man who thinks with his smaller head. i dont believe that all nice guys are already taken or gay. if that were true, the saying 'nice guys always finish last' wouldnt have come about. There are all around us. They're the ones we treat as best friends, the one that we talk to about other guys, the one that is always in the background. He doesnt do anything that brings attention to himself because he fears rejection. He rather be there for you in someway than not at all.

These are the guys who should step forward and express their feelings. they're the ones who should be given a chance.

If i have learned anything, it is that the ones we mistreat the most, that love us the most.

Toodles.

2011-03-27T14:28:00.002+08:00

Hey there lovelies.

So things are just crazy right now. I got full marks for my stats test. LOL.

The jerk told me he's getting engaged in September. after 5 months? hahahhaa, yeah, i'll like to see that happen.

moving on, oh goodness gracious! school is in full swing, i'm learning french(HAHA) and i'm finally opening up to my group members. about time too.

well well, slow and steady, i'm getting back on my feet. :D

Why curiosity killed the cat.

2011-03-23T23:51:00.003+08:00

Out of curiosity, I peeked at the jerk's profile.

I dont fucking believe this.

He's in a relationship already. He JUST broke up with me 2 weeks ago. I dont believe this. I cant take it either. I am so angry with him. Just so angry. I totally feel used and cheated.

oh that bloody ass of a man. got to where he was with my money and now that he's settled in life, he totally dumped me and IN A RELATIONSHIP with some other woman just two weeks after we've broken up.

If I ever see him again in public, I only hope that I find the strength to control my anger and make sure I dont beat the crap out of him.

I am happy, yes. But i'm also very very angry and hurt.

Hate is a very very strong word

2011-03-22T22:21:00.000+08:00

I hate my ex-bf.

Enough said.

Unbreak my heart

2011-03-09T08:24:00.003+08:00

Can the day get any more depressing?

today is the day that we would be celebrating 7 months. someone i know keeps ridiculing the concept of celebrating the months. you know, when things happen against all odds, you tend to marvel at how long it has been going on for. and it's tough, getting through each month. it made me feel awesome, celebrating my monthly achievements. so yeah, i dont care. i will always celebrate monthly. besides, i always needed it as an excuse to be with him. haha, yeah, i needed reasons to meet him.

in any case, now that it's over, today is a littleeee bit upsetting. i dont know how i will react on 9th july though. i hope that i would smile to myself and get on with the day, rather than beating myself up over it.

anyways, just a little friendly advice, dont ever listen to break up songs after a break up.

you cant get out of the rut easily the second you sink yourself in it.

Cowards! All of you!

2011-03-08T11:49:00.003+08:00

Well..

my ex-bf (haha, so pathetically funny) just keeps proving to me what a dick he is. apparently, he stopped loving me. therefore it justifies the break up.

can you believe that? i stand by him, help him out during the toughest of times and he can't find it in his heart to love me. what a damn joke.

anyways, after the break up, i dont feel terribly upset. sure, i cried bucket loads but suddenly, i feel liberated. i mean seriously, it wasnt much of a relationship to begin with. he never gave me much attention. and he broke up with me over sms cos he didnt have time to meet me. haha. that alone should tell you what kind of character he has.

actually, the saddest part of it all is that i feel that he never loved me in the first place for him to 'fall out of love' with me. i dont think men ever change. there is not a single indian man in singapore who has made me think, 'wow, thank god such men still exist'. nope, no such man. and honestly speaking, i'm not surprised. i'm not even whining about.

i'm just saying that all men in singapore are lacking. save all the crap about comparing men and stuff. no way in hell can someone progress if they dont compare themselves against something. i am only talking about men from my race. we have awesome food, awesome culture, awesome clothes, awesome everything, yet we are lacking in the most basic of all things. we have no character.

every indian man, no matter how unique, different or whatever synonym he may wish to use, is no different from the next indian guy. why? perhaps it is the upbringing back in those ancestral times when men were dominant and women were merely slaves to these men. perhaps it is so deep rooted in us that it has become part of our dna, so natural that it seems okay to behave that way. such argument always brings about the topic of nature vs nurture. again, i will not go into that, for i have no fixed opinion on that.

forget indian men. all over the world, men are breaking hearts by being total assholes. the media portrays this very well. there is always a jerk in every drama series and a villain in every movie. sure, there's always the nice guy and the hero, but let me tell you something, truth is, nice guys always finish last and heros are really dumb courageous people who dont exist in real life.

there is no knight in shining armor coming to rescue you. there are no roses and love letters, there are no fairytale happily ever after endings and there is definitely, definitely, no such thing as true love.

everyone's raving about chris medina.
his famous words, 'What kind of man would I be if I left when she needed me the most?'
yeah, sounds real loving right?
SO WRONG.
that statement itself shows that he's worried about how people might perceive him.
compare that to, 'i love her, so i stayed' or 'i love her, so i will be there for her when she needs me most'.. or something to that extent.

have you actually heard him say that he loves her?

maybe i am being too critical about it with my break up and all. maybe he really is a nice guy.
bottom line is that true love is nothing but bullshit.

women want it but men just dont have it.

this is a war we're never gonna to win, so what to do?
we sign a fucking peace treaty is what we do.

Can we still be friends?

2011-02-27T12:50:00.000+08:00

Can we still be friends?

I dont, know, can we?

Wanting to be friends after a break up is the single most retarded thing you can do. It's awkward and it makes you want to run back straight into their arms and forget all the reasons why you broke up in the first place.

so dont, dont put yourself in the horrible place of being friends after a break up.

move on, date other people and just get on with life.

What have I done.

2011-02-06T13:20:00.002+08:00

I just broke up with my boyfriend. Please someone just shoot me and end this agony.

Why did I break up?

Simply because I thought it was better for him to concentrate on his job instead of worrying about not having time for me. Plus I felt miserable being in a relationship where I didnt get any attention. Turns out, I love him too much to let him go.

He makes me happy, most of the time. It's my shortcomings that make me unhappy. He is absolutely wonderful. Why cant i just appreciate what I had instead of asking for more all the time? Why didnt anyone talk me out of it?

Now he has changed his status from 'in a relationship' to 'single' and it is killing me. has he gotten over me so fast? i doubt it. he's just angry with me. I deserve it. what kind of woman tries to fix something that isnt broken.

now i am left alone, hurting and miserable.

I love you vs I am in love with you

2011-01-26T11:14:00.002+08:00

I believe I've spoken about this over and over again to various people and my stand hasnt changed.

Loving someone and being in love with someone are two different things.

Firstly, loving someone is to love the superficial being/object.

for instance, OMG I LOVE BURGER KING'S MUSHROOM SWISS TENDERGRILL!!!
that is loving something.

how is that different from being in love with it?

assume mushroom swiss tendergrill is not just tendergrill. no mushrooms.
the product has gone through a change.
will i still love it was much as before or love it at all?
possibly not. i would have lost my love for it because it no longer has the things that make me happy.

that is how one loves another. for as long as one is satisfied, one is loving said object.

what is being in love then?
being in love transcends time and change.

again calling upon the example of my mushroom swiss tendergrill,
if the mushrooms are gone, and it's just tendergrill, it's obviously changed in nature and if i were truly in love with it, i'll accept this change and now start to love my plain boring tendergrill as fully and fiercely as I did with my mushroom version.

makes sense?

take it this way, to be in love with someone, is to be in love with WHO he is. (not superficial)
to love someone is to be in love with what he is. (superficial)

hence, i havent crossed out 'fall in love' yet. keyword being yet.

Who are you convincing?

2010-12-15T11:31:00.002+08:00

There are two kinds of people. The optimist and the pessimist.

I'm usually optimistic about most situations. I strongly believe that there's a solution for everything. Just depends on whether the solution is worth the trouble.

My boyfriend and I havent taken a single photograph since we've known each other. and we're 5 months into the relationship now. Weird, dont you think? So i asked him and he said he didnt like taking photos. I pointed out that he wanted me to take photos of his godson. he said it's for his godson. so i said, yeah well this photo we take together, will be for me. and then he gets all annoyed and says 'fine, i wont take photos with godson anymore'

wtf.

the problem isnt he taking photos with his godson. hence the solution is not to stop taking photos with the godson. the problem is that he's not taking photos with me. hence the solution would be to take photos with me.

why do they have to make it sound like we're some treacherous creatures, banning everything they love to do?

and couple of days ago, i was feeling all romantic and such. so i told him i loved him a few times in our conversation. then he asked me 'are you reminding me, or are you reminding yourself?'

if there's anyone who knows how to fuck the mood up, it's him, for sure.

in any case, once he mentioned it, it's been playing on my mind. perhaps i do feel that i need to be convinced of my love for him. the things having gone the way they have, well, i'm not quite sure if things might work out.

better to end it now than a year later, eh?

but still, i do have lots of warm feelings for him. bah.

Happy Together

2010-11-24T10:12:00.003+08:00

Boyfriend's back, safe in my arms. hehe. sappy, i know.

Yesterday, I likened my love to Fried Chicken Wings.

Hard on the outside, soft in the inside and full of flavour.

And sometimes, it's half done. Hahaha.

In any case, I'm quite enjoying myself these past few days with him around. Sure we have our arguments, due to my unreasonable tantrums, but it doesnt change the fact that i'm crazyyyy about him. hahaha, shit.

my sis met him a couple of days ago. she sort of 'approved' him. which means something to me because we all know of her high standards. i have a feeling it's his intelligence that 'passed' him.

shit i'm so giggly. :D

anyways..

i'm in love. :D :D

and if anyone said love was easy, they were right. it's easy to fall in love. it's staying in love that's awfully difficult.

we're in our 4th month now. i knew him since J1 though but it seems oh so long ago. in any case, he's pretty determined to make it through. we came so close to a break up. all that crying and shouting and DRAMA. what to do, we're indians after all.

i think we're going to make it to one year. it's only after that, that i'm worried about.

speaking of worries, i've got 9 demerit points for the accident. i have another 5 months to go before my probation ends. in this time, if i get 3 more points, GG!!!!

sigh. :(

The Angel of Christmas Past

2010-11-11T18:07:00.002+08:00

Something odd is happening to me.

All of a sudden, every male that i've ever had the tiniest bit of romance with is coming back to talk to me. It is a little overwhelming. I dont quite know how to handle all of these. Especially when they start sweet talking me. Yikessss.

Worse still is when the guy comes back to say hi and i ask about how we stopped talking, he tells me about how i ended it. and damn, i realised that i've been quite the bitch to some people.

While i feel sorry for being such a mean person, i dont think i would have done it if they didnt deserve it.

In any case, i'm a little confused with the way things are going on. i might just break up with the boyfriend and stay single until someone sweeps me off my feet. both feet. :)

Halloween already?

2010-10-29T20:31:00.002+08:00

I recall last year's halloween quite clearly. Has it been a year already? Damn this year had flown by. My previous post, I was wondering how to get through September, well what do you know, it's the end of October already. 20+ days to my love coming home! Yay!

Deepavali's a week from today. Just got my henna and hair done. Loving both. Bought my panjabi suits as well. Not my choice this year. Didnt have the 'love at first sight' feeling. Nevermind, I'm over that.

SIM results are yet to be out. I'm a little nervous. Not quite sure of my next steps if this fails.

Ben wrote in a letter that he loves me loads and misses me much. Aww, it's wonderful to read that. Although I doubt his sincerity at time, it makes me gush with much love whenever I believe that he's honest about it. Well well, we'll just have to see what happens when he's back.

For now, good night all. :)

Bruno Mars.

2010-09-23T10:46:00.002+08:00

I might just have fallen in love with Bruno Mars's Just the way you are. I mean, even the video is awesome. But the guy had to go and get convicted for drug possession. Pure stupidity. And Lindsay Lohan doesnt even come close to being stupid. she's like so damn dumb. sigh. celebrities.

Anyway, Ben might be coming back sooner than originally planned. While I'm delighted, I'm also quite anxious. I think having him around was nice. But not having him around was somewhat.. nicer. I'm not going to try to explain it because it'll sound wrong whichever way i try to put it. But what i'm trying to say has something to do with independence.

So, things are sort of coming together, like a puzzle fitting or something. I just need to get through September and October will be over in a breeze! Mannn, this month is long, with 5 weeks and all. Argh.

Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder?

2010-09-11T09:48:00.001+08:00

Ben's away for a while and I thought I'll be okay. I thought I'll just go on with my life but actually, to be honest, it's really quite difficult. And i'm wondering if it's my own thoughts that make it difficult. Oh well. :)

oh. my. god.

2010-08-27T22:37:00.001+08:00

so damn exhausted.

hiwrunvfvuepidkdvnfhwequoipdk is how i feel like most of the time.

argh.

anyways, ben's going away for 4 months and i'm determined not to miss him. i'm a strong independent woman :D

simsimsimsimsimsim

Walking on sunshine

2010-08-17T15:55:00.003+08:00

So hello, I'm back again.

busy busy busy weeks have gone by. despite having lots of problems in my relationship, whether directly or indirectly or not even related to my boyfriend, i seem to have something new to love about him every day. he doesnt compliment me or spoil me with gifts everyday. sometimes he doesnt even say nice things to me. but when he does, somehow, it makes everything seem better. i hear it's a disease. it's called the 'blinded by love'. to be honest, i dont know if i have the disease or not. all i know is that things are shitty right now and i need to give it some time.

We are the perfect couple, we're just not in the perfect situation.
anyways, i still adore him.

09/08/10

2010-08-09T10:43:00.001+08:00

It's officially a month since I've been in a relationship.

How has it been, you ask?

Downright exhausting.

Overdue.

2010-07-27T10:40:00.001+08:00

what the hell is happening?

Off the market.

2010-07-09T17:55:00.003+08:00

Prithika : I dont want to wait till september for some stupid guy and miss out on being yours. So i'm gonna shut up and tell you this now. Not only do i love you for who you are, i'm also in love with you.

Ben : Whoa. What brought this on?

Prithika : It's retarded to hang on to some shit when all the good things are right there, waiting for me. I keep being careful not to give away too much in case the shit works out but I know deep down that the shit is not gonna work out. forward is the only way to go. so you have a promotion. from lover to official boyfriend. are you accepting your promotion?

Ben : Hmmm.. What are the incentives that come with the promotion? lol

Prithika : incentives? none. more work, more fights, crazy mood swings, more retardedness, more half hand holding, more can you kiss me questions, more irrational behavior, more expectations. no increase in pay, no ot pay also. and also, work on public holidays and sundays necessary. guaranteed job satisfaction though.

Ben : Hmm.. ok i'll take it.

Prithika : really?

Ben : Yes.

So, dear friends, I am officially attached and have the greatest boyfriend in the whole world.

She will be loved

2010-07-05T22:01:00.002+08:00

Well well...

Nothing much going on in life right now.

I was looking through STOMP and I realise how some people have nothing better to do than to take picture of couples making out.

this is the 21st century. please keep up with the times. it's only the asian countries that are lagging behind when it comes to PDA. i mean seriously, if you dont like it, just dont look at it. it's not the only thing in the world to concentrate on. besides, there's no reason you have to take pictures of them. makes you quite the voyeur yourself.

Proud Moments - 1

2010-06-30T23:33:00.003+08:00

I am very proud of some of my friends. Let me share my reasons with you, in no particular order.

Firstly, I like to say that I am proud of Luo Jia. When I first met her, her grasp of English wasnt very strong. In fact, I have had times when I had no idea what she was saying. However, she really put in heart and soul and i'm really proud to say that she finally passed her GP for A'Levels.

So Luo Jia, never give up and dont say you cannot do something! cos when you put your mind to it, anything's possible!

I love you wifeyyy!

next person, is Justina. so stay tuned for that...

You give me something - James Morrison

2010-06-30T12:18:00.001+08:00

For every piece of me that wants you,
Another piece backs away.

It's over, in a flash!

2010-06-27T10:25:00.003+08:00

The school holidays have come to an end, in the blink of an eye. I remember when I used to have school holidays. The mad rush to finish homework 2 days before school opens and STILL not complete it. And it'll be a huge ass collection of questions, like 10 to be done everyday. so 10 x 30 is like 300 questions to be done. mad mad rush.

in any case, graduated from school and all. next step, find another school!!

Hanging by a moment - Lifehouse

2010-06-22T15:17:00.002+08:00

I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you

In any case.

Hello.

Life is currently revolving around work and love, work and love. Needless to say, there's a hell of a lot of problems in both work and love. Nothing we can't handle though. Ben probably needs to find a job that allows him to use his extreme intelligence. Haha.

My eyes are closing, the eyelids feeling so heavy.. sleeeeep... zzzzzzz.

Power of Love - Celine Dion

2010-06-19T12:08:00.002+08:00

The whispers in the morning
Of lovers sleeping tight
Are rolling by like thunder now
As I look in your eyes

I hold on to your body
And feel each move you make
Your voice is warm and tender
A love that I could not forsake

(chorus)
'Cause I'm your lady
And you are my man
Whenever you reach for me
I'll do all that I can

Lost is how I'm feeling
Lying in your arms
when the world sends to much to take
That all ends when I am with you
Even though there may be times
It seems I'm farther away
Never wonder where I am
'Cause I am always by your side

(2nd chorus)
'Cause I am your lady
And you are my man
Whenever you reach for me
I'll do all that I can
We're heading for something
Somewhere I've never been
Sometimes I am frightened
But I'm ready to learn
Of the power of love

The sound of your heart beating
Made it clear suddenly
the feeling that I can't go on
Is a light years away

(2nd chorus)
'Cause I am your lady
And you are my man
Whenever you reach for me
I'll do all that I can
We're heading for something
Somewhere I've never been
Sometimes I am frightened
But I'm ready to learn
Of the power of love

You're My Everything - Santa Esmeralda

2010-06-15T11:20:00.003+08:00

When I kiss your lips,
I feel the rolling thunder to my fingertips.

Hahaha.
Quite obviously, i'm a little lovestruck.

Argh, so not used to this. Anyways, with every passing day, i start to realise what a gem Ben is, although sometimes I dont like what he does. But then again, we cant be perfect. It's taking him a long time to find out the reason for the world. maybe i'll confess my love to him when he does it.

oops, did i just let on that i love him? hahaha. like it wasnt obvious already. Oh goodness.

in any case, i'm at home at 11.30am and not panicking about being late for work. why? because i have awful cramps. but i cant call them cramps. they're more like contractions. seriously. awful awful awful. and for some odd reason, when i'm in that half asleep state of mind, i keep dreaming about Ben's arm. HAHA.

weirdo, i know. sigh, i dont know if it's just me or something but i really wish that he took the effort to come see me. I understand that he's tired and all, really, i do. i'm not asking him to stay with me for hours. but seeing that he has a straight bus home from where i'm having the course, it wouldnt kill him to drop by, give me a kiss, have dinner with me and send me off in the bus right? is that asking too much? i'm not going to ask for it. he might think i'm expecting too much. but it'll be really nice if he just surprised me with a visit or something.

i have to remember that relationships are not fairytales. they're hard work. so i have to compromise, have to remember that it's not all about me. and even though i dont say it out, i do treat him like my boyfriend, and he treats me like a girlfriend. he's just waiting for me to come to terms with it, something i'm having major problems with. so see how see how. may the week pass by uneventful. there's only so much i can worry about at one time.

so, let's all raise our glasses to my happiness and i wish the same for everyone. may you find your happiness and hang on to it when you get it.

cheers.

Fate/Destiny

2010-06-11T12:02:00.003+08:00

Sometimes I wonder if such a thing exists.

I would like to think that I control my own life and the decisions I make shape the path I take.
(oh that rhymes!)

I still cant get over how I came back in contact with Ben. Purely curiosity. I wanted to know if he still remembered me. Clearly not, but hey, look where we are now.

In any case, he mentioned something that goes something like he's damn glad i reappeared in his life again. Forgot what exactly he said. Point is, could it be possible that this is some funny little trick of Fate? So if Fate exists, who writes it? Is it some subconscious element that already knows where we're going and is just guiding us there and we are fooled into thinking it's coincidence/fate/destiny or whatever other fancy term we come up with.

And as mature as I may sound sometimes, I'm really childish and it amazes me how Ben deals with it. Honestly, I feel like I can be myself with him. I can drama all I want, threaten him with kicks and punches and still, he will hold my hand at the end of the day.

I'm just scared I'll get into something that I'll regret later. I want to be with him so bad but something keeps holding me back. If i can find out the problem, i'll nip it in the bud and exclaim to the world that I have the man i thought i would never find.

and as much as he claims he's not a typical indian guy, he is typical as typical can get, in my opinion.

anyone who likes Asin(actress) sucks cos Asin sucks too. :)

and maybe, just maybe, I might be in love.

Here's a riddle for you.
Find the answer.
There's a reason for the world.
Who am I?

Crazy little thing called love.

2010-06-09T11:37:00.002+08:00

Wow. Some serious shit has happened and I'm coping with it for now. I have no idea what he's going through though. But, i promised to be there for him as much as I can. They say the little things matter.

hell yeah.

yesterday, he told me something that blew me away.

let me give you the background first.

the first week i met Ben, we took a cab to hume ave where he started night shift. one curious colleague of his, asked who was in the cab with him. he said his girlfriend. when i asked him why, he said cos it was convenient, no need for much explanation.

so then, i dropped the matter. it took me a couple of weeks to wrap my head around the fact that i like him more than i should. so i finally admitted to myself that i'm seriously dating this man. not like the other guys who i always date for a while and then chuck one corner. and just to admit that i'm exclusively dating him was hard for me.

now, in the past couple of weeks, he's told me on more than one occasion that he's told someone or another that i'm his girlfriend. all the while, i'm thinking that he's saying it so that it wont bring so much questions. i mean, it makes sense right? we're together so often that if you say 'we're just friends', no one is going to believe it. hahaha.

but the problem is that i have a reason not to want to be a couple, yet. and so, it kept bothering me that he keeps saying i'm his girlfriend. the last thing i want is for me to introduce him as my friend when he introduces me as his girlfriend. it'll suck when it comes to a mutual friend.

so i asked him about it, just to clear the air. then, he replied..

"That was then. This is now. You are my girlfriend. Whether you like it or not."

How do i react to that?

I blush and i laugh in glee!

then i frown and feel miserable.

Here is a man who wants to be with me. and as much as i want to be with him, there's one small problem in it all. and that too, immensely selfish.

what the fuck.

but let me tell you something, with every passing hour, i like him more and more and more and moreeeeee!

Crazy Drivers!!!

2010-06-06T13:26:00.003+08:00

Yes, I'm a crazy driver.

Today, I tried to drive without switching on the engine. The gear was in reverse and the car started to reverse and the brake was so hard to press. I was totally panicking! then stomping hard on the brake, i shifted the gear to park and pulled the handbrake. oh dear god. i could have peed in the stress.

afterwards, i was driving and making a right turn, at 60km/h!!!

omg, it was like some F1 driving stunt. LOL my dad got really angry. HAHAA

but the adrenaline, wheeeehoooo!

When nothing else matters.

2010-06-03T12:56:00.002+08:00

Have you ever felt like time stopped for a while and the only thing in your mind is what's happening right then?

in the last couple of days, i've felt it.
more than once.

on sunday or so, ben twirled me around in the middle of ntuc and for a second, i felt time stop and it was just me and him for a moment. and in this moment, i felt my heart melt.

then again on monday, i was holding ben's hand and he interlinked his fingers with mine. again, i felt like time stopped and it was just us against the world.

on tuesday, he kisses my lips, ever so gently and again, it happens. i can feel the warmth of him wrapping around me, enveloping me in sweet sweet love.

you know, this just confuses me. i thought i was in love with someone else and suddenly ben comes along and knocks me off my feet. i've never never been crazy about someone like this before. not even with S. with S, it was an aching kind of love. with Ben, it's like.. a blooming love. I dont know how to explain it. It's like as though i'm bursting with happiness.

i wont say i am IN love with Ben right now but i do love being with him. his companionship is amazing. i dont even mind spending a couple of hours standing with him, while he does his work. hahaha.

damn it. :D

Humps Ahead

2010-05-26T14:00:00.002+08:00

So, I've been hanging out with Ben pretty often. So what? I've having fun. That's all that counts right?

Live like you're dying and all that.

I've never seen anyone put up with my crap like he does. I change my mind every couple of seconds and yet, he manages to ride them out and help me get to a proper decision. Like, wow, awesome. Haha.

So, work ended little later than i expected. Took a train over to meet him. He told his colleague that I was his girlfriend. I should be upset about it, but secretly, i like it. Well, it's not so secret now since I say it here, but he still doesnt know it, so it's a secret still. Ok, whatever. oh, i mean what- everrr.

so we met and we took a bus down to his place. In the bus, he was using his laptop and for some reason, i felt like zoning out. i was reading a book to keep myself busy but the weird thing is that i wasnt really reading, you know? like just staring at the book, reading the same line over and over and over again. finally we got off and i went to draw money.

i put the atm card in without looking at the screen. right after it took my card in, the atm screen was blank. i thought maybe it just blew its bulbs so i tried to key in my PIN while picturing the screen in my head. success! i continued picturing the next screen and withdrew my cash safely. kinda proud of myself for not panicking. hahahaha.

then we had chicken mee goreng. while i dont hate noodles, i dont quite like it either. but it was hot and good. could feel the warmth spreading through my body. awesome.

after which, we walked to his place and along the way, had some crazy kissing. he's such an awesome kisser. seriously. i was missing out, all this while.

and then i go home feeling all floaty.

my life, as i know it, is complete. :D

we dont need to label ourselves as anything.

we can just be nothing. clearly, we're more than friends now. but we're not a couple either. just lingering somewhere in the middle. and i'm not going to put my heart out there. not yet anyways.

Shrek in 3-D

2010-05-25T10:58:00.002+08:00

Let me get straight to the point.

Never watch a 3-D movie if you're intending to make out. Because the glasses are so inconvenient and a quick kiss is also out of the question due to the awkwardness in clashing glasses. so, please, screw the 3-D. besides, it honestly isnt so wow-ish. best part of it was probably the upclose view of donkey's ass. donkey's ass. hahahahaha. get it get it? ass = donkey. donkey's donkey. HAHA. i'm so funny. okay, shut up.

in any case, let me get on with my post.
Shrek was a feel good movie with lots of 'awww
w' moments. all about appreciating what you have at the moment. it ties in really well with what i've been trying to say for the last couple of days.so although i was expecting my day to have lots of action in it, plans changed in the last min. while i'm up for spontaneity, i was quite disappointed. but, the thought of chocolate cheered me up. hahaha.
i was fully intending to meet him ASAP but, a meeting was going on and on and on and on in my office. i tried all sorts of things to give them the hint that i want them to LEAVEEEE. finally when i stood up and locked up the cupboards, they got the idea and left.

i flew to west mall to see ben and he was all clean shaven. omg so atractive. and then when he attempted to kiss me, i freaked out cos it was in public and it was in the library. Libraries are sacred!!! i thought the same thing about schools too until, well, that's a story for some other time...
so we went to have dinner, ate squid, yummyyyy. he ate steak. i find it reallllly weird that we both bought something that the other cannot eat. i dont usually do that. i dont know why i did now. i dont think ben even cares though. haha. i kept telling him i didnt want a drink but stole his twice. hahahaha. such a stubborn girl. and iced tea SUCKS.after which, we went to the bank to drop in a cheque and withdraw cash. there was this guy that was at the machine, taking his own sweet time and doing some stuff on the machine. for like 5 mins or something. and ben got pretty annoyed by it. usually, i would wait patiently, but woah, ben was very vocal about it. not sure what to think of that.

on the way, i saw paddington bear on sale! omgggggg. paddington bear is my love! <3

then i ate my chocolate as we walked back to west mall, and then went to harvey norman. checking out fridges like we were going to get one or something. hahaha. it was such a couple-y thing to do that it almost felt good. weird, i know. in any case, i saw a fridge that is like sex!

So anyways, we went to watch the movie after that and went home soon after.

sighhhh. i'm feeling all floaty floaty.

Fly Me to the Moon.

2010-05-08T20:39:00.002+08:00

I havent updated seriously in long time.

What can i say. lots of things have happened.

i wont go into the past but all i can say is that, i met someone who could actually be something.

we'll see. he's not perfect but i like him for it.

How many countries have you traveled to?

2010-05-04T17:42:00.001+08:00

Two. Malaysia and India.

Ask and Ye Shall Receive

What do you think was the greatest invention in your lifetime?

2010-05-04T17:41:00.001+08:00

The toilet.

Ask and Ye Shall Receive

P-Plater.

2010-04-25T04:04:00.001+08:00

Quick Update.

Met a new man.

Passed driving test.

Awaiting Uni acceptance.

If you were stranded on a desert island, which one person would you bring with you?

2010-04-22T17:39:00.003+08:00

My Mother.

Ask and Ye Shall Receive

If you could go on vacation for the next month with an unlimited budget, where would you go?

2010-04-22T17:39:00.001+08:00

To Australia. Without a doubt.

Ask and Ye Shall Receive

Cats or Dogs?

2010-04-22T17:38:00.001+08:00

Definitely Dogs.

Ask and Ye Shall Receive

formspring.me

2010-04-16T12:07:00.001+08:00

Ask and Ye Shall Receive http://formspring.me/rowdylove

Happy-land

2010-04-16T11:51:00.000+08:00

Hey hey, me is back in happiness.

still no period.
MUST SEE DOCTOR. (soon)

anyways, hung out with the may babies yesterday.
they're really an awesome bunch of people.
i love the way xiang yun was laughing and laughing on the bus ride home.

and i miss playing runescape. so i'm going to start now! hahahaha.

Nuisance

2010-04-14T13:05:00.003+08:00

Since JNA isnt happy with the lack of an update, let me get over with it.

While we cannot make everyone happy, we should always try to make the most number of people happy. Compromise is the key.

The past week, I havent recieved a single text or call from S. As usual, I have dinky thoughts in my head. Dont blame me, I've never been a very optimistic person in matters concerning my personal life. In any case, I finally see him online on Monday and he chats with me. Explains that international sms is very expensive. Okay, I understand. I'm cool with it. About ten minutes ago, he messaged me saying 'I'm bored.' Now, let's analyse. Would you EVER send an expensive sms to tell someone you're bored when you cannot send someone a sms to say you're fine but busy. Doesnt that confuse you a little? Are you supposed to go with logic on this or just accept that it's one of those things you cannot explain?

I went with logic. I said i find it funny that he would send me a very expensive international message to tell me that and what i could do to help. Let's not forget that he lives in a different continent. Hence him being bored is nothing i could change immediately.

In reply, he says goodbye and that he did text to get sarcasm.

honestly, i didnt mean to come off sarcastic. there's always this problem with text messages. you can never hear the tone with which something is being said. so now, i sit here, twisting my fingers, waiting for a reply i know is never going to come. why? because now he'll use the 'expensive text' method on me.

which makes me come to my next point. a point that someone i know has been trying to hammer into my head. what if, and this is a very unlikely if, he's just using me?

of course, i've thought about this a million times. and the only thing that constantly comes to mind is that he wouldnt. ever. but that's not what the rest of my friends think.

now, i'm confused. let's face the truth. from experience, i know it'll hurt real bad. cry every night to bed, all that crap. but maybe a week later, a month later or a year later, i know i'll be over it. i would have stitched my heart back and be flirting all over again. it happened the last time. it'll happen again. i took 6 months to truly get over the break up. 3 years is no joke.

so i should just run ahead and clear the hurdles or just hang back and wait till i think we're ready?

if you start too soon, you lose. if you start too late, you lose.

what i want, is a sign. not the kind of sign that is doubtful. but the kind of sign that's as bright as a lighthouse, guiding me through the choppy waters.

and just to clear some confused soul's misconception of a lighthouse,
ships dont go towards lighthouses. lighthouses are there to warn that there's danger lurking around. and typically, a lighthouse is build on some rocky area or something. it's RIDICULOUS for a ship to approach a lighthouse, which has the purpose of warning the ship not to come close as the shore is dangerous.

so, the meenachi nosering theory is false.

When it rains, it pours.

2010-04-09T16:33:00.003+08:00

I havent got my period for 2 months now. I knew it'll come someday, just not sure when.

As I'm typing this out, i can feel contractions from my uterus. it's like a stabbing pain. short but sharp. i'm really hoping it's my period. i would like to get it over and done with. the wait is annoying.

on the other hand, i'm not prepared for it. and i know that if it hurts so bad in the first hour, the next 2 days are going to be crippling.

this is when i really really really want a boyfriend to make me feel better and maybe give me some tlc when i'm feeling like i wanna rip my uterus out.

argh. may i get through this pain to be a better person.

on a brighther note, Maldives is back in Singapore for the week. Met her twice. She's spending every day with her boyfriend. How nice. jealousy, anyone? she'll be going back this saturday night though. ahh. i'll miss her all over again.

and on a dull note, sexual attraction lasts for a week or two only. after that, if there's no intellectual stimulation, it's just so boring. i'm glad i'm attracted to you in more than one way.

we're so fucking wrong for each other that it feels so right.

Till you pass out.

2010-03-30T20:12:00.002+08:00

Been a while since I blogged.

Let's see, what's been happening.

My life has now taken 4 distinct paths. Let's explore them one by one, starting with the most important.

Work.

I never realised the real meaning of stress until a couple of days ago. I've come close to bursting into tears from the pressure of everything. SERIOUSLY, we need to get someone onboard quickly! Doing the work of two people alone is really pressurizing. And I've edited a single document so many times that I can probably repeat everything line for line. It's not helping that I'm not being informed of everything that goes on. I always think of the words from the song 'Do you know?' by Enrique Iglesias everytime I find out something in the last minute. Here are the words I am referring to.

[Chorus]
Do you know what it feels like
loving someone that's in a rush to throw you away.
(Do you know [x3])
Do you know what it feels like
to be the last one to know the lock on the door has changed.

Taekwondo.

So i've been going for the classes and it's been quite tiring. Never seem to have free time anymore. I've been given the keys to the RCs and the parents are starting to notice my involvement. While i'm not doing anything wrong, being constantly judged is really really scary. 3 nights out of 7 are taken up by taekwondo. minus sunday night for family time, i'll have only 3 days for hanging out. but the thing is that i'm too tired during the weekdays. i know i'm online all the time and sometimes i update facebook. but seriously, i work like a mad dog trying to get stuff done by email and phone. Need a break. Honestly.

Driving.

I've completed most of my lessons now. one LAST lesson to do. then i'll be done with my practical lessons. yay-ness. actually i'm pretty good with driving except for lane-change. people keep telling me it's easy enough but no, it's not for me.

Social Life.

I didnt have one for some time. It's probably my own fault. I was crazy over someone and let my relationships with other men rot. Now, I learned the art of deception AND i'm going international. There's a Saudi rep, a UK rep and now a Canada rep. Haha. All of them have indian roots though. So, let's see how things go. Keeping an open mind is the way to go. Besides the boys, I'm busy organising a 4S2 reunion now. It's on Sunday, 4th April at Palawan Beach.

To be honest, I really think I have a knack at organizing. It comes naturally, almost. Well, who's to know, I might take up some Hospitality thing. See how see how.

I'm off to have dinner now. Can't wait to see Justina tomorrow.

Updates updates.

2010-03-21T21:38:00.003+08:00

I know I have the habit of saying 'for the first time in a really long time'.
I now know where I got that phrase from. It's from Sex and the city.

ANYWAYS.
i know some people are not very supportive of my... ideas. i used to care. but honestly, i dont think i give a damn anymore. i know i'm not the best of examples but i can safely say that i'm loyal.

which is why i cannot have a relationship. i know. this is complicated.

the simplest way to say it is that i'm kinda like Samantha waiting to have my Carrie ending.

Awfully Sick

2010-03-14T12:56:00.002+08:00

Fallen sick again.

Starting with the damned knee, the pain is traveling upwards. My shoulders ache and there's a bump on one side of my shoulder. Intense pain when even the slightest pressure is applied. And knowing how low my tolerance for pain is, i'm seriously suffering cos my bra strap comes in contact with that bump from time to time. major ouch.

Last night my mom was massaging my shoulder and she kept applying lots of pressure on the affected area. I don't know if it's an old wives tale or something, but she kept insisting that if you apply pressure and PRESSSS the area that's affected, the swelling will go away. While I was shouting and whimpering and nearly swore, she maintained her pressure. Only later, when the area started to get hot, she said that it signals pain. You mean the whole time i was withering in pain, she thought i was joking? pfft.

Although I took medicine that was supposed to cause drowsiness, I didnt sleep much. Probably 3-4 hours. When I woke up, my entire shoulder area, including my neck was aching. Even the back of my head hurt and my head was throbbing. I couldnt even open my eyes at first. It's only when muza messaged me that i forced my eyes to open. Damn the sunlight!

Now my nose has blocked and my throat is sore and i'm having a throbbing headache plus all the soreness.

All i really want to do now is listen to soothing music or read a book or just curl up next to a warm body and sleep.

Joy to the people

2010-03-12T21:50:00.002+08:00

hehe.

I had a massage.
awesome.

A new journey.

2010-03-07T12:34:00.002+08:00

Okay, I'm skipping the obligatory post about my results and further education. I'm going to go straight into something more exciting.

Being a full-fledged Taekwondo instructor!

Last year, I went for an instructor course. They taught me the history of taekwondo and the teaching/coaching methods as well as testing us on our knowledge of the martial arts. That went smoothly and I passed both theory and practical. Next step is to be on attachment for 12 lessons. That is to say 1 lesson per week, 4 lessons per month, 12 lessons for 3 months. But, since I'm teaching 3 classes now, 3 lessons per week, 12 lessons in a month!

I'll be done in a month.

Then, I'll be given the official Instructor's Certification.

But that's not all. My Instructor wants me to officially take over 2 classes, small ones though. So, for that, I have to be approved by People's Association. Which means I have to go through a First Aid course, National Coaching Accreditation Programme (NCAP) AND upgrade to a 2nd Dan(2nd level of black belt).

My aim is to get the two certifications done by May and then get my 2nd Dan by end of June. Sounds a bit ambitious but I think I'm ready for it.

Although I'm crazy excited about taking over two classes, the reality is that it's a whole new level of commitment. One that I'm not sure I'm really ready for. Monday, Friday and Saturday nights all dedicated to TKD now. It's not a simple thing, you know. It's like serious business. You cant just apply for off day anyhow. You have to make sure the kids learn and are ready for grading. That they dont injure themselves and they dont go home complaining, about me in particular.

I feel like I'm ready to take it on but still, have my doubts. This is one of the few times that I require serious advice. But I dont know if anyone understands me or the way I think enough to be able to give me the advice that i require.

I dont want general advice. I want advice specific to my situation. It won't be just about taekwondo. Taking on something like this means i'll be dedicating myself to teaching the kids, i'll be giving up my free time, limiting my migrating options, getting into the politics, being a role model(potentially) and so many more things.

Teaching's been my passion but is taking this up now what's really good for me? If I gave up this opportunity now, will it be presented to me again?

I dont know. And I dont have much time to think about it cos I need to finalise plans by 16th March. That's the closing date for registration of NCAP. otherwise, i have to sit for it in Nov/Dec. My Instructor cannot wait that long.

So how so how so how?

Titanic.

2010-02-28T10:22:00.002+08:00

I watched it last night. I cannot believe someone thinks this movie is stupid because Jack could have easily shared the board with Rose.

My clothes

2010-02-25T19:33:00.000+08:00

Dear Prithika Thanabalan, you have finish taken The Clothes You Wear Personality Test.
The analysis: You are probably a clever and adventurous person. You love to learn new things, and enjoy socializing with friends. Although you enjoy your freedom, you cherish peacefulness and like to spend time alone with your thoughts.

What others see from your style:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Although to the untrained eye you may seem like a plain dresser who avoids trends
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You actually wear carefully designed accessories
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Clothes that emphasize your uniqueness
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You value your freedom
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Have an artistic mind
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are neither aggressive nor timid
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : But you believe in yourself

What your nightclothes reveal:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are friendly
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Always in good mood
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are candid
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Helpful
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Can be sexy at times too

What others see from your ties:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You enjoy being alone
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You like to life the simple but good life
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You cherish your freedom
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are thoughtful
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Confident
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Uninterested in glamour

What others see from your belts:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : If there's not a single belt in your wardrobe
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You like freedom
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Are opposed to all kinds of rules
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are creative
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Very good at work that requires you to stretch your imagination
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Your main downfall
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : However
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Is that you can be very moody

What others see from your shoes:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You like to be the center of attention
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You like to look good at all times
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Probably never leave the house without makeup on
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Although you may be intelligent
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You're also insecure about your looks
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You care about others
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Will always listen to what they have to say

What others see from your earrings:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are a hardworking people
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are serious
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Capable
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You know what you want out of life
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You go after it

Just for Iylia.

2010-02-24T22:39:00.002+08:00

A couple of days ago, I told Iylia that I mounted curbs while driving through the S course in the circuit.

What's a S course? It's a curvy road in the shape of an S which tests your steering ability.

Anyways, she didnt understand what I said. She asked me 'mounted who?', to which i replied, repeating what I said earlier.

'I mounted curbs'.

again, she didnt understand what i was saying. so, i quickly referred to my manual and realised the word they used was 'kerb'. So, i replied to Iylia, this time correcting myself, using 'kerb' instead of 'curb'.

Now, Iylia was laughing at my mistake, but just for the record, I wasnt wrong.

Definition

/kɜːb//kɝːb/ n [C] UK (US curb )

the edge of a raised path nearest the road

'curb' is American English and 'kerb' is British English.

So, for the sake of Iylia's tag..

I mounted curbs.

Horrible Day

2010-02-24T22:36:00.000+08:00

Pushed to the limit today.

Let's face it.

2010-02-23T21:28:00.002+08:00

We're all materialistic. Don't argue with me about this.

Moving on, I've just about completed my Stage 2 practicals. Next up is my Driving Simulator.
I started off with the circuit courses today for Stage 3. Because i'm so used to facing the person who talks to me, I cannot seem to concentrate on talking while driving. Is this why my dad never seems to acknowledge that i'm talking cos he blocks out what i'm saying in order to concentrate?

Possible. Anyways, I learned from another instructor that you need to have at least 3 years experience driving and a clean record to be able to apply for a BBDC instructor. You will also need to take a driving test, one that requires you to explain what you're doing and why you're doing so while doing them. For instance, explain that you're approaching the pedestrian crossing and hence, need to slow down and look our for pedestrians. something like that. Plus, most instructors, if not all, need to be able to give riding lessons as well. 2-in-1 instructors. pretty awesome, if you ask me. I wonder how much they get paid. $3000+?

In any case, I need to find a proper timing for my driving test date. Cant have it during the peak hours!